delusion
Herzlich lacht die Tante, and …it’s not like I wanna die. Let me be young longer than being old, looking in the mirror and see how much hasn’t changed, is one hell of an unearthly experience.
But don’t let me be that type of young, who fearlesily and without understanding goes out shouting to the world: I KNOW, I WANT, I DESERVE.
No. I want to be that young who has nothing to lose but the entire life to gain.
The kind of young that could immediately change his entire perception of life, without living off his past mistakes.
The kind of young, who didn’t had the time to do too much harm, but has had enough joy to last for a life and some.
More than being young longer than old though, I want to be that kind of old who’s always been there, while being young. The one who never looks back at Young, feeling the pain in the body of travelling back in time, begging for every moment which has passed to come back one more time, to do it all the ways, but the way it was done.
Travelling back in time..You cannot change your life without affecting the others, which, in return, affects you. I travel back in time to actually try to fix what others have done, more than what I did, which is why I stare more often than not, at my past.
Not knowing what have I done. I haven’t forgotten. I just don’t understand it.
Should God change the past?
From the point of view of the other dimension – if I change myself in this universe, what if I change it with something already existing.
Parallel universes would be destroyed. The “you” in some other universe would be duplicated bringing unnecessary chaos.
We don’t look back regretting a part of a mistake. God damn, you don’t get the full present, but you sure get the regret of the entire past mistake.
It’s partial perfection versus whole regret.
Some “young german” prominent jew in Germany (yup, who would have thought. Son of a banker. Double who would have thought…) called Ludwig Börne, said that “getting rid of a delusion makes us wiser than getting hold of a truth.”
I say that getting hold of a truth is only humanly possible, as long as you keep your delusion of life and knowing the truth is no longer of interest when you know the lies.
My delusion is stronger than my will to acknowledge reality, which turns out to be my obnoxious desire to fight for this life not to become what it is – a slavery so dumb, it kills without needing to be described.
Being at the mercy of idiots is no life of a human being. The one thing differentiating us from animals is that which should present us as being smarter.
Being at the mercy of an animal is senseless.
I keep my delusion with sanity, because insanity is not femme fatalesque, not cool drama, insanity is dumb and counterproductive.
Sanity and Normality are from the highest virtues which only few can reach.
Every stupid jackass can find pleasure in being a gagnsta’, a playa’, every little dumb slut can play anyone by learning some lines to quote and having nothing in the brain, every corrupt person is just a stupid loser. The more money the loser has, the more of a blood money stolen from someone. He, or she – let’s not forget those ugly ones – are never going to work in this life, nor represent any intellectual form of life on earth, or otherwise.
Look for the sane and normal, for that human being who kept its integrity, morality and learning desire at every moment of their life. Despite the odds, the damages, the downfall. Especially those who got no rewards back for all their sacrifices.
The delusional people are what’s keeping this earth from not becoming all that flat until it breaks.
Being an idiot is what ruins everything. And you can never stop an idiot from not being an idiot. For that they would have to understand they are idiots.
Stupid is stupid. Idiot thinks he’s a genius. And, of course, special. A victim desperately needing attention.
Don’t hunt those down who travel back in time and change nothing because they understand no one is God.
Bring those down who thing they are God just because they try to travel back in time to do even more bad things. Those people are not delusional. They are just idiots.
An idiot has never won a fight. It’s always others.
A delusional has won all the fights. Always by himself.
Hail to delusion ! as I know it is my last.